Attachment

 I often get attached to even the simplest things of my life. I get attached to the song which i play thousand times on loop and when i listen to somebody singing the same song i exclaim yes, that's my song! 
I remember how I got attached to my handkerchief which my school time crush picked it up for me in that crowded bus . I have still kept that tiny wrapper of chocolate my lover gifted me when we met the first time. I get attached to every little things that makes me smile at least for a while in this stressful world. I find home in those little pieces that builds me up. 
Being attached to things is easy atleast you can keep it with yourself and whenever you feel low you can either switch onto your favorite playlist or roll into your favorite t shirt you are attached to like a small kid. I am attached to sunsets and whenever I am tired I let the sun shower its vibrant colours upon me yet sometimes the evenings are darker but I hold on because I know the sun will set again . I know the sunsets will never abandon me . 

Once i got attached to a person and I don't know how much did I love him but all I know is that he was like a chandelier to my darkness , an extinguisher to my inner turmoil, he was like a warm and comfortable corner in a windy day , he was like a hot cup of chai which i needed on a daily basis . I loved him even more than I loved my Chai.  May be i loved him more than I loved myself and this was the reason I couldn't recognize myself when he left. Whether he had taken everything I had or whether I let him took away I exactly don't know .

One day i stopped loving him because I hated him for taking away my home that I created in him. Attachments are like slow poison which kills a person everyday until he dies one day . Attachment with things are ok but when it comes to people it is never ok. People leaves , they leave you to die after faking promises and their love for infinity and when people leave we are left with an option to let them go.

When he left me everything began reminding me of him. The place where I walked with him , the song I listened to thinking of him now reminds me of the memories we created together. I don't like wearing those clothes which he mostly liked whenever i wore. The restaurant we dined in reminds me of him . The couples when passes nearby me reminds me of the old us holding hands together and hanging out in those old dark streets.  Festivals , seasons, dates, days, words, phrases and sentences often reminds me of him and I do miss him.
There comes certain days in my life when I feel I need him the most , I do crave for his tight, long and warm hugs which would calm me down but now i rely to those attached pieces which i have kept with me as i know i cannot have him again. 
A long walk , a hot cup of chai, some good songs , a plate of momos, my favorite books are something with which I am attached to  .
I know these little pieces of me will never fade away. 

Yes, I do get attached to people when i meet as we cannot stop ourselves fall for people but we can also have the power to detach ourselves from those attachments we know are not worth staying. Yes, I do get attach but I have learnt letting go.
And sometimes we have to let go....

- sneha 

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